Don't Take Pictures While You're in the Tub
Why Colin from Accounts is the rom-com you should be watching
October is the start of cuffing season, so I thought it’d be appropriate to open Omakase Formula’s October with a rom-com review. Of course, the romance industrial complex means there’s no shortage of choice. I could weigh in on whether Nobody Wants This has one of the best first kisses. But if I’m being honest, the choice in my mind was always clear. Allow me to introduce to you Colin from Accounts.
Sounds romantic, right?
But if you don’t judge a book by its cover, I suggest you also don’t judge a TV show by its name. There’s a reason why I’ve honked on about Colin from Accounts to my friends ever since I first saw the show last year. You can actually watch the first episode of the second season for free on YouTube right now (the show streams on Paramount+ and is basically the service’s only saving grace apart from UEFA Champions League coverage). However, I don’t recommend you do that, because you will be very confused by why two adults are contemplating kidnapping a dog (is it still technically “kidnapping” if it’s a dog and not a kid? Or is is it “dognapping?”) in broad daylight.
Sounds romantic, right?
The first thing you have to understand about Colin from Accounts is that it’s Australian, which should hopefully explain the weird title. The homeland of Pesto (this chonky king, not the delicious sauce) is no stranger to eccentricity. Did you know there are over a million wild camels in Australia? Or that the Australian Alps receive more snowfall during the winter than the Swiss Alps? Well, now you do. You might think all of that is odd, but it’s pretty much par for a country home to an animal that has cube-shaped poop and a capital city whose name comes from an aboriginal word for cleavage.
The show’s Australian roots might also help explain its entire setup. Colin from Accounts is the story of a meet-cute gone wrong: Gordon meets Ashley at an intersection while driving his car. Ashley, reeling from a break-up and having already had a drink in the morning, decides to spontaneously reward his generosity in letting her cross the street first by flashing him. Distracted, Gordon drives into a dog that also chooses the same moment to cross the street. The dog, alive but now needing wheels on its hind legs, is taken in by Gordon and Ashley after much squabbling and a mutual agreement that they both were responsible in some way for the dog’s condition. This dog is Colin (from Accounts and from the title), so named because Gordon and Ashley agree it’s dumb for a pet to have a name you wouldn’t give to a human.
The most important thing about any rom-com is the chemistry between the leads. Colin from Accounts gets this right, though it’s worth noting they took a shortcut: its leads (Harriet Dyer and Patrick Brammall, who co-created the show and also co-write it) are married to each other in real life. So at least we’re spared the part of the press tour where the leads do the whole “we’re just friends!” spiel and everyone has to pretend to be shocked when the news breaks they’re actually dating.
The second most important thing about any rom-com (you would think it’s joint first given “comedy” is also in the name, but let’s be real: a rom-com without romantic chemistry is just a comedy) is whether or not it’s funny. I can tell you that Colin from Accounts is laugh-out-loud hilarious. The second season sees a Kevin Bacon cameo via–of course–Cameo (the one and probably only time I will argue Cameo has actually been useful in its entire history). One episode in the first season revolves around Gordon’s attempts to delete a picture of Colin he sends to Ashley–that may also accidentally contain his own dick (moral of the story: don’t take pictures while you’re in the tub). But what makes the show better than just any run-of-the-mill comedy is its ability to balance different moods. Gordon’s crotch may be the subject for laughs, but it's also the subject of serious conversation: it turns out he’s a survivor of testicular cancer. The show is very sweary, though I’m sure you already expected that given the other shows I’ve talked about on Omakase Formula (shout-out to Slow Horses, now officially an Emmy winner!). But it manages to be sweary without leaning into the cynicism that underpins other must-see swear-fests such as The Thick of It. It may seem like a show filled with contradictions, but it’s to the credit of Dyer and Brammall that it pulls off the balancing act in a way that would make Cirque du Soleil proud.
What makes Colin from Accounts truly extraordinary, however, is the fact it doesn’t shy away from throwing cold water over the expectations of a relationship. Plenty of rom-coms play into the excitement of the “will-they-won’t-they” romantic tension, but focus so much on the first part that it’s clear to everyone the leads will end up together. That isn’t the case with Colin from Accounts. Whether or not Gordon and Ashley can actually make their relationship work is a question that constantly hangs over their heads throughout the show. While it’s incredibly clear the two are attracted to each other, the chemistry they share is not the magical love-wins-all cure that washes away all conflict, but rather a highlighter of all their differences that linger below. The couple’s age difference—a plot point mined from Brammall and Dyer’s own experience as a couple with a 12-year age gap—is used to highlight both the difficulties of their relationship as well as its absurdity. It’s one thing for Gordon and Ashley to realize they’re at different stages of their lives, but it’s another thing when that conflict is paired with the reality that their entire relationship, whether it be romantic or otherwise, rests entirely on the foundation of a shared responsibility for a dog that needs wheels to walk. No relationship is as easy as a rom-com makes it seem, but what Colin from Accounts gets right is how much active work goes into making a relationship work. The reality of being in a relationship is that you’re constantly in a state of reaffirming your commitment to one another, and Colin from Accounts sees its leads constantly doing that, even if the situations they find themselves in can be exaggerated for laughs. After all, no rom-com would be a rom-com without the comedy part. But it’s Gordon and Ashley’s conscious grappling with whether or not to choose each other in those ridiculous moments–no matter how difficult it may be–that shows us there really is something between them.
Sounds romantic, right?
At this point, if you still don’t think that sounds romantic, I’m going to have to break your bubble here: sure, you can think everything I’ve said about Colin from Accounts might not sound romantic. But it is romantic, because romance is chaotic and imperfect. And that is why Colin from Accounts should be your first rom-com watch this cuffing season. It’s refreshing to see a rom-com embrace the blemishes of love rather than try to constantly pave over those cracks and sell something that doesn’t exist in the real world. That you’ll also find yourself laughing along while you watch just makes it even better.
And if all that still hasn’t convinced you, just look at Colin! You have to at least give the show a watch just for the most adorable puppy on wheels:
